Alice in Chains

I've written a lot about Alice in Chains on this blog and on Twitter and Facebook. I had looked forward to seeing and hearing them live on March 20 in Chicago. I had looked forward with more anticipation to hearing them than almost any other musical event I've ever attended in my life; a life FILLED with musical experiences and performances, some of them historic and epic. Eva Marton's American debut at the Metropolitan Opera. The world premiere of Leonard Bernstein's new opera, A Quiet Place, at The Kennedy Center, with Mr. and Mrs. Reagan in attendance. Herbert Von Karajan with the Berlin Philharmonic performing all Four Brahms Symphonies at Carnegie Hall. Arther Rubenstein's farewell concert at Carnegie Hall, playing both Brahms Piano Concertos. In one evening. The Wagner Ring Operas at Lyric Opera of Chicago a few years ago. U2 at Soldier Field in Sept. 2009. Luciano Pavarotti's American debut as Rodolfo in La Boheme at the Met. And the list goes on and on. Nonetheless, the physical and emotional excitement I built up to the Alice in Chains concert was other-worldly and far exceeded any of the previous concert experiences, in terms of sheer excitement and anticipation.

I wonder at myself. It's true I love Alice in Chains's music and that love has not wavered since I first heard them on the Black Gives Way to Blue Album back in October of 2009. Although now other bands and musicians have come along and have become much loved and admired, Alice in Chains remains in a category uniquely their own.

I decided to stand in the mosh pit for Alice in Chains. That was probably my first mistake. A metal-head crowd is a VERY different animal than the crowds at U2 or KISS or Led Zeppelin 2 or, good heavens, Yes. I worked my way to the front and was in the second row back from the barrier. Facing the very center of the stage. I used 2 canes to help me stand for hours. To preserve some sort of strength in my back and legs. I am a woman who doesn't stand around. Nonetheless, I arrived at the Aragon Ballroom (or "Brawlroom" as it is somewhat wryly called) at 7:40 and I stood on my feet until nearly 10. For me, that is quite a record.

The opening band only played for 30 minutes and I tolerated them. Alice came on at 9 sharp. I was not disappointed really. They sound very much the same as they do on their CDs. And it was truly thrilling to see them up so close. They have the sweetest faces, all four of them. I mean, they might be bastards in real life but they LOOK and SOUND like angels of a sort. Jerry is particularly gentle looking although I've heard he has a razor sharp, rather dry wit. Will is just beautiful. He seems innocent in a way I find hard to define. Totally un-debauched or marked by excessive drinking or drugs or whatever. Mike Inez resembles paintings from the 17th century court of Louis XIV. Sean is earnest and rather funny. They have all retained a somewhat boyish look. Which accords oddly with the dark, intense and sombre lyrics of many of the songs, particularly those by Layne and Jerry.

I got badly jostled and it was mind-numbingly loud in the pit. The young men around me JUMPED so vigorously to the beat and shouted and screamed out the songs so loudly that at one point, my ear felt like the drum had actually popped. It was very hot and sweaty too and smelly. Someone was smoking pot somewhere nearby. I now know what it felt like to be packed, standing up, in those cattle cars that took Jews to Auschwitz. Not enough room to move and smelly and somewhat frenzied. So I stood it for 4 songs and then elbowed, clawed, and "beg your pardon"-ed my way to the back of the hall where I gasped for the cool air coming from the outside. I also got a drink and -- lost my BlackBerry! I had been tweeting my darling while watching Alice. Telling him about every little move on stage and each song and he was so sweet and funny and told me if anyone fucked with me to let him know and he'd HURT someone.

Never. Not ever, not once in my life has a man ever offered to do that for me. Not that I've wanted him to. But M. makes me feel so cherished and cared for. I've never really been "taken care of" like that. I long for it, like a powerful opiate or narcotic. I yearn to just be his woman. I am frankly besotted. My longing for him and Alice in Chains and losing my BlackBerry -- which meant I could not message M. for the rest of the night and -- as I feared -- could not sleep all night worrying about me in that crowd, alone, up in Chicago. I cried myself to sleep that night in the hotel, knowing that M. must be a) hurt that I stopped talking with him; or b) seriously worried that some accident or other mishap had befallen me. It was a night of really amazing emotional trauma for me in many ways. And the background music for this particular movie is the song Rooster and Again and No Excuses by Alice in Chains. And Private Hell -- which was how I felt when I finally got back to my hotel room.

There were other incidents that day. Some more traumatic than others. But in all, it is a day I will not forget in a hurry. To my dying day.

My therapist once told me: you've never been really touched, Glenda. Your emotions are locked away in a place where you can take them out and use them or not, at will. Well -- that has ended. Rock music once and for all has been the key to unlocking, unleashing emotions so powerful I didn't know I was capable of them. It changes everything. The way I see other people, the way I see events and most especially, the way I see relationships in all their ramifications, ups, downs, falsehoods, and transcendent joy. I've told Ben I want to read The Brothers Karamazov. I want to read really fine literature with my newfound compassion for the plights of the characters as they struggle for understanding and enlightenment through their human interactions. Meanwhile: I stumble on toward some kind of light, some kind of deeper realization of my own power as a woman and as a human being. Accepting and even loving my human frailty and thereby that of others, those I love--M. the man I love.

Make new friends.....

Looking back

It’s so interesting to me as I listen to Billy Joel and Elton John and others from my music past. The addition of rock music and rap to my music listening vocabulary has greatly enriched my aural palette. It’s quite remarkable. I don’t love New York State of Mind any the less for having learned to love Cyanide or No Excuses or Do U C the Pride in the Panther? Or any of the other hundreds of songs and raps in my huge iTunes library that is about to get even larger as I embark on a new group of songs and artists that people have recommended to me. I’m listening to New York State of Mind right now. It’s a great song. Billy Joel is a gifted songwriter, no question in my mind of that. I’m like the matriarch of a very large family. Love each new baby as s/he comes along. Just make a new space in my heart and head for each new song and artist. But also like that matriarch, as my memory grows longer (in this case, larger), the old familiar ones remain enshrined in their own unique places. It’s quite a relief to my friends that I’m planning on subscribing to the Lyric Opera again next season and that I am still crazy about Poulenc and Mozart. A relief to me too. Like the old folk song: Make new friends, b ut keep the old; one is silver and the other gold. Really that’s a terribly sentimental thing to write but I unashamedly believe it.

Academia Starts Rockin'

When the Oxford University Press music education text rep. met with me, one cautionary message I got from her is that a textbook like the one I propose to publish, will be the first of its kind and therefore may be quite difficult to market. In fact, she said, I need to think carefully about who my target audience is; I need to define this far more clearly and precisely than I have done so far. I've been mulling over her words since late January when we met. It's a problem because at this time, the target audience I had in mind were college music education methods classes, such as the ones I teach myself. Specifically, I want to target college general music methods class teachers -- a sub-group of a larger group of methods class teachers.

Methods classes are a requirement in any education program you can name. These courses prepare students to teach in a K-12 classroom setting--in my case, general music K-8. The courses have to cover a lot of ground. Given the testing environment in today's schools, and the fact that arts education programs are being eroded or eliminated to make room for more reading and math intensive instruction time, music and art and PE and other "specials" courses are more and more needing to incorporate language arts and math, not to mention accommodate special needs students of all kinds and diagnoses into their curricula. This makes the college preparatory course (aka methods) much more complex and difficult than it was traditionally.

My general music methods courses consist of two types of activities: workshop-style hands-on lessons I design to provide a model for students as to how such activities might be taught to children; and pedagogical theories and practices. Methods courses also provide opportunities for students to "practice teach" on each other using the various pedagogical principles they learn. With standards and educational reform and the need to learn assessment and technology for the classroom, the methods class can be over-full of material or content that must be included.

This makes the issue of what repertoire is to be taught in a K-8 general music class difficult because there is little time to spend on developing a large body of repertoire that students can and should use to teach musical concepts to children. For the most part, they are going to leave the methods class with only a vague or hazy concept of suitable repertoire for the classroom. They will rely on colleagues, on available materials in the school where they are hired, on their student teaching experiences, and on materials they get in workshops at conferences.

So I'm writing a supplemental text for K-8 general music methods classes that will prepare them to teach musical concepts and skills using rock music and rap. The text has to contain enough historical information that it is a viable resource for the students who will use it; it has to include sample repertoire but more importantly, the text needs to show students how to choose and select repertoire on their own that is suitable for the classroom; there must be instructions for playing and teaching basic electric guitar and drum set. The book needs to set out the basics of synthesizer and software editing for producing and recording rock music and rap in the classroom. In my opinion, the book needs to describe ways in which rock and rap music are composed/created according to the traditions in those genres -- not according to traditions more suited to composing/creating music in the Western art music (aka classical) traditions.

We're talking major iconoclasm here. Teaching music to kids using music that comes out of a "non-notation-based' (horrors!) tradition of creating/composing. Music that is vocal music with lyrics/texts that may or may not be age-appropriate for K-8 students. Music with a psycho-social context and not a "high" art cultural one. Music that for the most part cannot be judged or assessed in terms of "quality" because we are too close to its source, its genesis, to know if it can stand the "test of time" or whatever other criteria one chooses to use in judging or assessing quality in music. All of us in musical academe are highly trained in the Western art music tradition and we're going to judge or asess the music on that basis, through that lens because our schema, our understanding of music, has been shaped and formed by our training and in some cases, long years of experience.

Rock music and rap are distinct genres of music that need to be judged, assessed, on their own merits and according to standards that apply to those genres specifically. Yet, do those standards even exist at this time? I don't necessarily DIScount such magazines as Rolling Stone and the music critics in them, but how much of what those critics say is based on deep knowledge and perspective of the music and how much is based on pop culture understandings and viewpoints? And rock and rap ARE pop culture -- so isn't it more appropriate that pop culture critics should be considered arbiters of good taste?

In spite of the obstacles, there is a distant roar happening right now in music education. We, as a profession, are beginning to consist of people in their late 30's and 40's. People who have never known a world without rock and rap music. Who grew up listening to it. Who know the artists and in some cases, have themselves played in rock bands, composed and performed raps. Those of us in our 50's and 60's are beginning to notice the roar and become fascinated by the possibilities. Or else we're retiring and leaving the decisions up to the younger generation. Inevitably, rock music and rap are going to enter the academy. As jazz did 40 years ago. Jazz studies programs are to be found in nearly every school of music in the world now. Can rock and rap be far behind?

Jazz studies programs focus on performance of jazz. Jazz is still not taught in general music methods classes in most schools of music other than perhaps how to create a unit on the blues or a general historical discussion/unit during Black History month. The main reason for this is that general music methods tend to be taught be former general music teachers. General music teachers, for the most part, are female and have a vocal/choral background. Maybe piano like I do. These individuals are far less likely to have played in a jazz ensemble or to have received jazz studies training in their college programs. They may be totally uncomfortable with improvisation of any kind other than perhaps body percussion or pentatonic improv using Orff barred instruments. Further, many general music methods teachers are classically-trained singers and genuinely opposed to children in their classes listening to the vocal techniques you'll hear prominently used by most rock singers: males singing in a very muscular way in the highest reaches of their range. Rap may be ok since it's mostly spoken but the dialect and language usage may be problematic in some cases and since general music methods teachers will most likely not be rap fans, they may not know of raps that ARE suited for the classroom and yet are still attractive to kids who love rap.

So the OUP rep was right. I'm putting myself way out on a limb here. I'm wondering if I need to refocus the book and NOT try to create a methods text. Yet: I teach general music methods. I wish there WERE such a text. I'd certainly have my students buy it and we'd use it. The way I intend to focus the book is on how you can create "bridges" to understanding all music through using rock music and rap as your foundation for learning. In other words, triple meter is triple meter. Whether it's in a song by Yes or in a Viennese waltz. I want the book to de-mystify rock music and rap for methods class teachers & their students. Can I achieve this goal???